The One with the Sex Toys

This weekend was certainly interesting and a little scary.

On Saturday, a friend invited me to joint birthday party for her and another friend of mine. On the invitations it described the event as a “home novelties” party. I thought it was going to be party showcasing and selling tupperware or jewelry. Oh boy, was I wrong. I walked in and immediately noticed two things, all the guests were girls, and they all looked uncomfortable. A quick glance around told me why. Penises. There were penises on the coffee table. My friend threw a sex toy party for her birthday.

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Our first task after we were seated was to introduce ourselves and describe how we “like our sex” by using an adjective that matches the first letter of our name. My name starts with a ‘B’ so…I said “beastly”, and that’s what they called me for two hours during the demonstration. For a virgin, of which there were maybe two or three in attendance, it was an awkward experience. I cannot unsee those images. Did I mention they passed all the “products” around? I didn’t know where to look half the time. I know I sound like a prude, but I don’t judge people who use those products, I just would never think to broadcast my use or throw a party about it, especially for my birthday.

My friend hosted this party so she could purchase, um…a new friend…at a discounted price. Most girls were buying products, and I just sat there, a poor virgin who can’t even afford some of the cool spa products they sell. I’m not sure if the party generated enough credit for her to buy herself a birthday present, but I’m pretty sure the coffee mug I got her was not what she was looking for.

After the party, we went to dinner and then to a bar called Arizona Pete in Greensboro, NC. The bar was as country as it gets, complete with a mechanical bull and barrels for tables. I’m not a country girl at all, so when I walked in I was a bit disappointed. But it turned out to be fun. The DJ wasn’t anything to shake a stick at (or shake your anything at) but once you get tipsy enough, the music doesn’t matter so much. I say all this to tell you that I didn’t leave for home until 3:30am.

I knew I was taking a risk by driving home so late, but I felt sober and alert so I started home anyway. Big mistake. Not long into my drive, I zoned out for a minute and ran off the road, or really the road ran out. I didn’t realize the road was ending in a T intersection and ended up in a man’s front yard, which was still covered in snow and ice. I remember thinking, “Don’t hit the tree.” and “You’re not going to stop in time.” Thankfully, I did stop before hitting the front of the brick house. I waited for a minute for someone to come out of the house and yell at me for being in their yard, but no one did. I got out of the car and checked for damage, but since I didn’t hit anything, there wasn’t any that I could see. I did worry that my brakes wouldn’t work, but they do, although I’m sure I need to get them checked now. After a few minutes of hyperventilating and praying, I backed up onto the road again.

I made it home safely, but I could have very easily died that night. This experience scared me straight; I definitely won’t be driving that late anymore.

Beck

How to Talk to Guys 101

Oh my goodness, I don’t know where to start with this blog post. I was debating with myself about whether or not I should mention my latest adventure…it may be too soon to call it. (You can decide for yourself after reading.)

I sort of met someone.

There is a sentence I didn’t think I would be writing this year let alone this week. I say “sort of” because nothing has come of it yet, but numbers have been exchanged. Omg, I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no reference book for interacting with guys. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. But I’m getting ahead of myself now.

This weekend my best friend from high school came to visit me at school. There was a party at The Bar near campus and we decided to go. After sharing a bottle of wine in my car (parked of course), we decided to go ahead in, even though it was pretty early. On the way in, a guy I met last time I was at The Bar tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I knew you’d come back.” I honestly can’t remember what I said in reply. I think I smiled. Last month when I was leaving The Bar, he introduced himself to me and kept saying, “I really hope I see you again.” By the way, he’s a bouncer at the club.

Later while I was paying for drinks, he came up to me again and starting talking to me. I was trying to be friendly. I promise I wasn’t drunk, but I don’t remember much. I was too nervous. The only question I could think to ask him was “Do you live around here?” which is probably the most generic question that you only hear in movies right before a guy strikes out. I decided to leave the bar before it got too awkward, which I kind of regret now, but my friend was waiting anyway.

After dancing for a few hours, we decided to call it a night. Here’s where I get out of character. He came up to me to say goodbye and came in for an awkward side hug. I can’t believe I did this, but I leaned in and said, “When are you gonna ask me for my number?”
“Right now” he replied and smiled. I can’t believe I said that to him, but really, it’s not like I didn’t know he was interested.

So…I gave out my number for the first time this weekend. I have no idea what I’m doing. I wish there was a class I could take to teach me how to talk to guys. -_-;

Help!
Beck