Warning Signs

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.” – Jane Austen

Earlier I said that I sort of made a friend in my class and I wasn’t happy about it. Let me tell you why.

At the end of class the other day, I knocked my water bottle over…again. Luckily, this time it was properly secured. The only people in the room were me, my friend, and a classmate I had never spoken to before (which is everyone really). “I don’t know why I’m so clumsy!” I said picking the bottle back up. He says, “I share that clumsiness with you. My friend calls me Murphy’s Law because everything that can go wrong, does go wrong when I’m involved.” To which I replied, “Me too. It would happen to me when the entire class is watching too.” And then he said, “You pulled it off well though.” By this time, I’m pretty sure he wants me (jk!), but all I say is, “I have learned to play it off and embrace it because it happens so often.” Then I flashed him a dazzling smile before leaving the room with my friend. Just kidding, I probably looked constipated because my brain is incapable of processing interaction with the male species. We briefly bonded, so what? It’s not like we’re best friends now. “So what!?” my brain responds, “He wants to marry you!” SMH brain. SMH. Just because he’s slightly attractive and said a total of two sentences to you, doesn’t mean he wants to marry you. Somehow, that doesn’t stop me from instantly liking him.

Sometimes I wish guys wouldn’t be so nice to me. I tend to overreact when they do something nice or are just plain friendly. One time, a guy smiled at me in my Astronomy class my freshman year and I stalked him for three years around campus (This didn’t end well). People say they don’t know what love is, or they don’t know what it feels like to fall in love, but I fall in love with everyone every day. If guys weren’t nice to me, I wouldn’t want them to like me. It’s all their fault. But really, I think I’m just a little bit crazy. I’ve watched too many romantic comedies and read too much Jane Austen. (Where are you, Mr. Darcy?!) So, I’m not happy about this sort-of-friend I’ve made because it puts me in danger of developing a crush on this dude. I’ve already learned that he is a universal donor and donates blood and plasma to save babies, SAVE BABIES. The warning signs are already there.